DROP THE DRAMA. Do not discuss the past, unless it is pertinent and directly relates to a present issue. As the late great Washington Redskins football coach George Allen said, “the future is now.” This may be easier said than done, but you cannot change the past, you can only move forward. Sometimes this will require that you get help from a therapist to deal with anger, grief, and other unresolved emotions. These emotions will get in the way of a negotiated settlement with your spouse. If both parties are experiencing emotional turmoil, their mediator should suggest hiring a third-party neutral therapist to help them work through any emotional issues that are standing in the way of resolving their divorce and moving forward with their lives.